|Sweater: Old Navy // Jeggings: JCPenney // Boots: Target // Necklace: Knotieties|
Do you ever just feel stuck in life? That's how I've been feeling lately. Cody and I have all these huge dreams we want to accomplish and sometimes it feels like they will never be achieved, either because of ourselves holding us back or because of the hand life dealt us both.
I'm a big believer in dealing with whatever life dealt you. The face it, everyone has hard times, but sometimes, I just need to take a day and wallow in it.
Some of you probably know this, but Cody and I live with his grandmother in a tiny house out in the country. There are plenty of reasons for this. One of them is that she didn't want us to struggle through school trying to pay rent and bills so she offered for us to stay here rent free. We're very lucky to have her, even though the situation is less than ideal.
The other is that she has breast cancer that is pretty advanced. Like I said, this house is in the country and if we were to live somewhere else, it would be in the city. We didn't want to leave her all alone.
It gets hard though. As a newlywed, of course I want my own house. My own space to decorate, organize my kitchen, do laundry the way I want to, wash dishes in a dishwasher even if it does waste water/electricity.
There's a lot to be said for all of that and the other day, I was ready to scream. In fact, I did get pretty upset and told Cody some things I didn't mean, all out of frustration.
I went shopping and after I came home, everyone was talking about ordering pizza and I looked at Cody and his grandmother standing next to each other. She's raised him his whole life and on a permanent basis from the time he was seven and even if she does beat the cancer, it is taking its toll on her and I'm not sure how much longer she'll be here.
As I stared at them talking about who would order the pizza, I realized that years from now, these are the days that Cody will look back on. He will always remember not only his childhood with her, but the years she helped him through college too and these years will always mean a lot to him.
Where else would we be? Thirty minutes away, wrapped up in our own lives. Sure, we may visit every now and then but we would miss so many memories and opportunities to spend time with her. When Cody is at drill, there are days that she and I will sit and talk for hours. If we lived somewhere else, those days would never happen.
So, even though it's hard and there are so many things I want to happen right now sometimes it's just better to be patient and cherish the moments you've got with the people that mean the most, even if you are in cramped living conditions.
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