So how's married life treatin' ya?
This is, hands down, the most annoying question to ask a newlywed.
Newlyweds, where ya at? Agree? Disagree?
Seriously, this question drives me insane.
Whether married life is fantastic or it's awful, you don't want to talk about it.
If it's fantastic, you feel like an asshole telling your not-married friends how great and wonderful it is. Who wants to be that person?
If it's awful, you don't want to complain and air out your dirty laundry. Or worse, scare this not-married person off of marriage forever.
Or maybe you do want to do that.
Either way, it took me about a week of being married to realize that I would get asked this question alot. At that point though, my response was "Well, we've been on our honeymoon, but so far it's great!" About a month into it, "Well, it's summer break so we get to hang out a lot. It's great!"
Now, eight months down the line, it's still great. Two years from now, even if we have a screaming baby and haven't done the deed for a month, it will still be great.
I think the point is that saying those vows do not actually change much. Sure, there are growing pains, but there's no "Oh, us married people know something you relationship people don't know."
So asking how married life is like, there's some terrible secret about marriage that newlyweds have yet to discover. Sure, as a married person, I don't go out with my friends every weekend and I don't hit on hot guys at the bar but guess what? I don't want to. I'd rather stay at home with my best friend in my pajamas watching a movie.
So, how's married life? Married life is just fine.
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21 comments:
Yes that is annoying. It stops once you get pregnant. Now all I am ever asked is how do you like being a mom? Uh I hate it...what the eff do people think someone would say? I frickin love being a mother!
Yes, I got that A LOT! After almost 4 years of marriage, those questions stopped. Now I'm bombarded with "When are you gonna have a baby?" Ugh. I just chalk it up to 1) lack of tact and 2) lack of conversation skills. Don't worry. It will be over soon! You could always have a little bucket of zingers to throw them off. That would be fun :)
I'll have to remember to stop asking that question... I guess I ask because this singleton lives vicariously through my married friends - they have way more fun then I do. LOL.
Yep, that question gets rather annoying after a while! Married life really wasn't that different from life before so I never know how to respond to that!
-Sharon
The Tiny Heart
Datevitation Giveaway!
I agree- very annoying! "How's parenthood?" can be even worse. Especially if someone catches you on a bad day, aka when you're running on no sleep and haven't showered in 3 days. I just smile and say "Great!" because I know they really don't want to hear the details :)
Totally agree. We got this question a TON at the holidays. We've only been married for four months, but nothing really has changed. We lived together for a year before we got married, and moving in was a much bigger change than getting married. I feel dumb when I respond "It's pretty much the same," but it's the truth.
I hate that question too! I know it's just polite conversation, but it makes no sense. It especially made no sense for me when I got married because my husband deployed to Afghanistan two weeks after our wedding and was gone for 7 months. I had people asking me this question during those 7 months WHEN HE WAS DEPLOYED and I wasn't experiencing married life...! LOL. It's also funny when people ask that question to people who just got married but have been living together for a really long time. It's like "um, nothing changed." Lol.
Just wait for the baby questions. WAY WAY WAY WORSE.
I agree!!
I hate this question, when are the babies coming, what changed in your relationship? basically I hate anything that has to do with the fact that I got married.. just because I got married doesn't mean I changed as a person... & if I wanted to talk about my relationship with anyone I would... ugh people are annoying
YES!!! Very annoying, we have been married almost 5 years and we still get asked that question.
cute post! Married life is great, it has its ups and downs but I'm still loving it. Quit askin' me.
;)
Yea seriously, kind of a pointless question... I guess they're trying to make conversation? But still lame. :)
Charlie & I started dating in high school, so the question we always get is "wow, you guys are STILL together?!" Like it's some sort of bad thing? Rude. :)
We've been married for almost 2 years and I still get asked that question. Sometimes I get a "Oh, you guys are still married??" All I can do at that point is blink.
Seriously, I feel like I get asked at least once a day. Even strangers ask when they find out I'm married.. People have no boundaries until they're the one being asked the question!
I hated that as a newlywed!! SO ANNOYING!! I also hated when I went back from maternity leave and people would ask me if I missed my baby. I was like.... "um, no. Not at all." ha
I've only gotten that question from people my grandparent's age--and you have to give them some leeway, because it must seem odd to them to see the tiny babies that they held at the hospital growing up and getting married.
Plus, I'd argue that getting married was a big change for me--quite possibly because my husband and I didn't even live in the same STATE till we got married. To go from not seeing him for months at a time to living with him in the matter of a day was certainly a change.
The much scarier question that I've been asked from people my own age is: "do you regret getting married?"
But then--I view that as an opportunity to share how marriage can be a good thing, so it's not all bad.
I love this post! It is such an annoying question... next will, be, "So, when you guys plan on having kids?" Actually people, not everyone gets married just to procreate, mmmk? ;)
I didn't mind because we had done long distance for 5 years prior. However, I don't understand why the same people ask us almost every time they see us! Not a whole lot has changed.
What really drives me crazy is that I still get introduced as Kyle's new wife. It's been over a year! When do I get to just be his wife?
I HATE that question... Another question that I hate is how is married life different? I was like, umm.... it is not. At least for us it wasn't. From day one of "dating," we spent just about every single day and night together that we could. We also lived together, so nothing really changed. The baby question is annoying, and I'm quick to shoot those down. Plus, my husband is deployed, so obviously I am not going to have any children during that time.
Hahaha. I'm not married yet, but I am in a long term relationship with my guy and we were talking about how being married won't change much for us, since we live together so we'll be coming back to the same life we had before the wedding and honeymoon! Haha. I have a lot of married friends though, and I typically find that those who have the most change when they get married are the ones who don't live together beforehand and/or are virgins when they get married. For obvious reasons, their lives change quite a bit and they tend to ask the question the most!
That question is driving me bonkers. I
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